Blessed

My intial instinct when asked this by a lovely fellow Mum was to smile and say no. The fact the question came about after said Mum had been watching James for a few minutes was actually rather amusing. Then I realised, who am I kidding? Who does it help to pretend to be on top of everything, this is why other Mums feel they can’t be honest about the ups and downs of Motherhood and always stick with the everything is rosy and perfect line of conversation.

“YES!” I exclaimed (well, at least said out loud instead of just in my head), “I do get very tired.” . James in particular is a on-the-go kind of little person. It’s fun, lovely, crazy and also sometimes just a little hard and tiring. And that’s OK because ALL Mums go through this, not just the sick ones. I’ve found the more honest I am with the Mums I’m meeting – at kindy, creche and the Twin club - the more stories I hear about the not so great times of parenting. It’s actually been incredibly reassuring.

And I realise. It is hard and tiring. I wouldn’t want it any other way

Day two of Kindy. *shudders* Can I home school? Please? This is so much harder than creche. Same number of teachers on the floor and about three times the number of children! There never seems to be someone watching them at dangerous places like the building table which has REAL nails and REAL hammers!!

I got there today to pick them up and was watching them from outside the gate where they couldn’t see me. They were happily playing, then a bigger kid came over and pushed James down and punched him! Luckily James stood up for himself and has forgotten, but this is so new and scary for me. I don’t want to take them back! I know kids are going to push/shove etc but no one was watching and what would have happened if James hadn’t stood up for himself? As it was I went in and kindly told them both that we don’t hit or kick as it isn’t nice.

Anyway, the boys are both settled in quite nicely. Now I just need to settle in! LOL

Have had some really good chats with some very good friends and in all am feeling much better within myself. Just waiting for my heart to catch up now!

Ben has completed his sticker chart – 21 times in a row on the toilet! He told me he doesn’t need nappies anymore, so we’ve had to change to pull-ups overnight. He’s actually managed to stay dry overnight three times as well so fingers crossed!!

Am puzzling a new phenomenon however – why is it the boys are the best of friends until I’m on a phone call? And what do people think when I suddenly say “No Benny, don’t hit your brother in the head with that baseball bat….”

We got a postcard in the mail today! I haven’t got one since I was really young so it was such a nice surprise and the boys were so excited. Thank you Claire and Adrian! And I must admit that while I let the boys look and hold it for a moment, I then got very protective over it and had to be told off by James for not sharing.

My much loved Computer died just after my last post, due to a lethal drink of chocolate milk given to it by Benjamin trying to be nice and share.

I had really amazing and lovely offers of a computer from Claire and monitor etc from Kylie, it was so lovely and muchly appreciated. Then this weekend my Dad gave me a huge surprise – A laptop! He has managed to get a new work one and given me his one! So I’m back on the net again.

Nothing much came of the rhemo appointment, I got sent back to the cardiologist in case the inflammtion was in my heart. They can’t rule that out so there’s not much more to be done on that front.

BUT I’ve been diagnosed just this past week with Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia. So the meds I was coming off I’m back on and increasing to try and get that under control. It’s been a long road this time, and really hard to be honest. Benji and James are just so active now and I can’t keep up. trying really hard not to feel like a terrible Mum. I know it’s just how it is at the moment and it won’t be forever. or even if it is I’ll learn ways to manage with it. They’re both still happy little three year olds, and are starting kindy in just over a week! I’m so excited for them.